His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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