I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Randomize
