somebody snuck up and got me drunk
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
