i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
where does the pee come out of this thing
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
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