Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Even my vagina gasped.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I want a musical about memes.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
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