shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Randomize
