Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Randomize
