Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So much rum. So many feels.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize