Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
