when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Randomize