Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
that's an acceptable place to lick
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I need mimosas to revive my soul
Randomize
