Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Randomize
