After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Randomize
