Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
