I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
