if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Randomize
