he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize
