Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
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