she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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