You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize
