I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
