Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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