I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
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