I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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