He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
