I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
