Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize