You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.