Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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