it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.