I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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