i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
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I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
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he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
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