You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
