I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
