how hairy? two words: wookie tits
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
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