Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Randomize
