Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
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There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
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How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
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