I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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