I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
33 Sex Crazed People That Are Going Balls Deep
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
21 Family Members Confess The Creepiest Things They Know About a Relative
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again