we have officially lost it.
Banned from zoo.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
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She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
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I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets