I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there