Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
