i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Randomize
