WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
