Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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