Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
This is the high leading the old right now
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
