yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
