dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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