what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Randomize