You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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