Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
pop tarts are not kleenex
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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