Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
