I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
is it fun? or sober?
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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