I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
