Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
