i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
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