Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Randomize
