a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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