i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I wish life had little blips of pornography
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Randomize
