awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
