please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Randomize
