We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Randomize
