You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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