At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Blood and glitter go together right?
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
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