I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
