Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize
